‘Catch your child being good’ is a phrase I really like and it’s a topic I like to talk about on my Positive parenting courses. ‘Allow mistakes and self discovery’ is another helpful phrase. We seem to always want to point out the negative side of things and the ‘what could go wrong aspects’ of daily life, ‘Stop jumping or you will fall ’ ‘Get down from there or you will hurt yourself ’ We often feel as adults raising children that we need to point out everything to children as it happens. ‘Mind how you carry that it might spill ‘ or ‘Look out there is a puddle there’ or ‘don’t fill it up too much’ ‘turn that around it’s better that way,’ ‘let me do that for you I will be quicker.’
The message we are sending to the child is I don’t trust you. The message we are sending is I know what is best for you. Of course we need to set up an environment suitable for the young child but when to step in is of concern. We hear so much now about risky play.... What about risky daily life? Why are young children doing less for themselves and being wrapped in cottonwood in case they may get hurt?
In a Montessori environment we carefully choose activities that encourage child development. Many activities that are in the classroom are in our daily life. Yes..... A pencil, cutlery, scissors (that actually cut), glassware ... WOW! Does that seem so outrageous!?
It is not a free for all, It is however, freedom within limits, and we set up the situation carefully we take time to show the child and then step back and observe.... We show the child how to carry a pencil, how to butter bread, how to cut paper, how to pour water.
I love you enough to show you ... I love you enough to make mistakes in order to learn ... I love you enough to give you your own space. I love you enough to have time and spend time with you.
I suppose it really is ‘I love you enough to spend the time showing you’, Ah that word time. We are often so over whelmed by getting children to simply have a bath ,eat sleep drink and get dressed , It seems so much easier to then put them in front of a screen ....However we know, children learn from doing and from being around others. Self confidence flourishes when we know we can do !
We need to raise children who will think for themselves, children that have some freedom of choice, children that are curious with some sense of outcome and that can only be achieved, little by little, from an early age. .. Obviously a child can’t be let run across a street , but they can choose what clothes to wear or maybe put shoes on the wrong feet or clean up after their spill without a parental ‘that shoe is on the wrong foot’ or ‘look what you just did!’ ...
Allow children (within limits) some freedom of choice, allow mistakes happen. Allow them to flourish and grow without being over directed. Support your child to learn for them with your quiet calm guidance. What is trivial to you may mean triumph to your child.... Encourage self discovery. It is wonderful for self esteem and further life skills. Feelings of self worth develop when the individual differences are appreciated, communication is open and the atmosphere is nurturing. Everyone makes mistakes, it is how we learn ....Allow children do more and discover for themselves.... you may even find you will catch them being good!
The message we are sending to the child is I don’t trust you. The message we are sending is I know what is best for you. Of course we need to set up an environment suitable for the young child but when to step in is of concern. We hear so much now about risky play.... What about risky daily life? Why are young children doing less for themselves and being wrapped in cottonwood in case they may get hurt?
In a Montessori environment we carefully choose activities that encourage child development. Many activities that are in the classroom are in our daily life. Yes..... A pencil, cutlery, scissors (that actually cut), glassware ... WOW! Does that seem so outrageous!?
It is not a free for all, It is however, freedom within limits, and we set up the situation carefully we take time to show the child and then step back and observe.... We show the child how to carry a pencil, how to butter bread, how to cut paper, how to pour water.
I love you enough to show you ... I love you enough to make mistakes in order to learn ... I love you enough to give you your own space. I love you enough to have time and spend time with you.
I suppose it really is ‘I love you enough to spend the time showing you’, Ah that word time. We are often so over whelmed by getting children to simply have a bath ,eat sleep drink and get dressed , It seems so much easier to then put them in front of a screen ....However we know, children learn from doing and from being around others. Self confidence flourishes when we know we can do !
We need to raise children who will think for themselves, children that have some freedom of choice, children that are curious with some sense of outcome and that can only be achieved, little by little, from an early age. .. Obviously a child can’t be let run across a street , but they can choose what clothes to wear or maybe put shoes on the wrong feet or clean up after their spill without a parental ‘that shoe is on the wrong foot’ or ‘look what you just did!’ ...
Allow children (within limits) some freedom of choice, allow mistakes happen. Allow them to flourish and grow without being over directed. Support your child to learn for them with your quiet calm guidance. What is trivial to you may mean triumph to your child.... Encourage self discovery. It is wonderful for self esteem and further life skills. Feelings of self worth develop when the individual differences are appreciated, communication is open and the atmosphere is nurturing. Everyone makes mistakes, it is how we learn ....Allow children do more and discover for themselves.... you may even find you will catch them being good!